dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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