But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
