Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
