The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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