How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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