Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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