you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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