Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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