I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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