i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
