I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
