It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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