Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize