its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
