Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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