I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
