We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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