i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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