the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
