Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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