OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just found puke in my bra..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
