So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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