it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
