im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
