When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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