Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
