The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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