she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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