WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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