so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Houston, we have a blender
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
