What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
oh god was she eating orange peels again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
