you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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