I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
