I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize