My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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