Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
