Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
