I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize