And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
