She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
