We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
