I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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