Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
