ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
