In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Alive.
So much puke
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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