oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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