I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
