wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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