Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Enjoy the penises
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
