We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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