Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
