Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
