he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
