...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
