i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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