so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
