the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My dick has a subreddit
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
