1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
