last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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