help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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